Monday, January 12, 2009

From the Front - Part Two

29 December 2008, 23:51
Grams,

Alas, we returned to the front lines this evening with high hopes that the pesticism would be over. Despite significant damage to their troop base, the cockroaches are still a present force and engaging in hugs non stop. The Penthouse Platoon, however, has full confidence that we will win on that front.

The more difficult battle lies with the termites. Despite the WMD dropped last night, they are still alive - however less out in the open, hiding in their bunkers. The Platoon has not tried the "milk" as we fear losing fingerprints or fingers and we'd rather not damage our nervous systems by being in close proximity to the lethal agent orange. We considered it but given the fact that we don't know how much power it contains - administering it incorrectly could be dangerous.

Colonel Bellavia called Superman this evening and he readily agreed to send reinforcements into the war zone with the serum in the afternoon. He was agreeable and due to Corporal Henderson's amazing peace talks at their last meeting, there were no complaints or arguments. We will await his reinforcements.

Thanks for your support back home, we couldn't do it without you. We miss you Grams.

The Penthouse Platoon

1 comment:

Private Evans said...

Dear Sgt. Shubox. STOP. I realize opening telegrams not meant for me is a federal offence. STOP. However, I could not keep myself from reading your post to Grams as the American media have shunned this battle completely. STOP. I believe it is a conspiracy. STOP. It tears me apart to have been reassigned and subjected to desk duty so far from my sisters in arms. STOP. I hope the new blue body armour I have sent you will keep you safe as you further hold the line against the enemy. STOP. You and all of the platoon are in my thoughts and prayers. STOP. Godspeed, Private Evans