Monday, January 12, 2009

From the front - Part One

29 December 2008, 01:50

Dear Grams,

Our battle against pesticism continues. This evening, we have waged war against the cockroaches of the north and an unexpected rising of the termites in the south.

A mommy and daddy cockroach had a "special" hug. As a result of that hug, vast numbers of mummies and daddies have intruded on our kitchen. Over a series of evenings, Colonel Bellavia has conducted a series of offensives against the mummies and daddies. The mummies and daddies were resilient and have continued to spawn making their defeat much more difficult. After acting on intel from Brigadier Chicken, heavy artiliery was acquired. Tonight we deployed our WMD's upon the enemy and the body count is seriously rising.

Alas, the same evening, yet another enemy approached and struck from the south*. A swarm of termites using guerilla warfare tactics, have infiltrated outposts on all levels and sides of the region**. The Kurta and Sari people were in desperate need of rescue. After a quick and thorough evaction by Seargent Shoebox and her troops, the area was evacuated and the people relocated. Seargent Shoebox returned to the area and sucessfully dropped yet another WMD to secure the area.

We are currently waiting in a secure location*** for the area to clear of toxic fumes. Our fear is that the guerillas have gained strongholds that we are incapable of identifying and extinguishing on our own. Only Superman can save us now.

And here ends another day in the trenches. Send our love to ma and pa and dear sweet Peggy Sue and Bobby Jo. We miss you all and are continuing the fight for freedom. Freedom from pesticism of the intrusive and swarming nature.

Colonel Bellavia & Seargent Shoebox

*the western closet of Kim and Chardaie's room
**the entire closet area
***becky's room

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